Coping from a carers viewpoint…
By GAtherton

Well then, This is a bright shining light in a VERY dark tunnel …..

Bit of Background first I suppose ….

I met my wife on our first day of school (we were 5 years old!!) She has always had Asthma & a “bad chest” over the intervening 51 years & of that we have bin married 39 of em!!! Marie (The aforementioned Wife/Partner/love of my life/soulmate/mother of my children & EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD TO ME) has steadily got worse & worse with her Asthma.

Recently She was provided with an appointment at Preston Royal Hospital to see a “Chest specialist” …after much probing & Many Many Tests we “THINK” we have a solution to her “Problems” …she was diagnosed in Jan 2013 as being allergic to Mold & put on Intraconazole I’m sure we can deduce from that she actually has Aspergillosis (although the Blood test are yet to be revealed) but reading the messages & stories on here & other places 99% of them mirror EXACTLY the things Marie has been going thru. What can I do???…Well, I have taken early retirement from British Gas (I was Regional Manager fer the North west area of England & Southern Scotland) ….I’ve taken over the Daily House duties Hoovering/dusting/polishing/ironing ect & can report that I’m told I do a “fair” job of ironing various things (Not quite worked out how to get the “Pointy bit” of the Iron into a Bra yet though!!!!!!)

Marie has never “worked” since we got married in 1974 choosing to bring up our children & be a “Housewife” …. To see her slowly decline in the amount she can do around the house has taken its toll on ME, we live not 100 yards from the beach on the south end of Morecambe Bay & living here has always been Wonderful, we would walk the dog (& the children fer that matter) for hours just enjoying the sea air & the Sunshine. the last time we did ANY of the above was over 4 years ago we felt trapped inside with Marie not able to walk any distance at all she reached a point where she couldn’t even do the weekly shop so I took over the day to day running of our home ….. this caused its own problems as even though I was doing all the things Marie used to do she was forced to sit there & watch (In a “managerial” role) ..& lets face it NOBODY can “Do” things like “YOU” are used to doing them.

Depression set in & we were at each others throats more than we were talking to one another….Fortunately Marie likes her “Gardening” & as we have a “Seaside” type garden (No grass/Lawn ect more just raised beds made from Driftwood we used to pick up from the beach after the stormy weather) she was able to “potter” about with me keeping a close eye on her & point me in the direction of which plant needed attention & which didn’t ect all this seemed to help give her back her independence & more over give her something to look forward to (at present she is eagerly awaiting the appearance of her Daffodils & watching her trees show the first buds of spring ect.

My point here is I think many people treat the Disease & NOT the person the appropriate drugs are obviously a MUST HAVE but they will have a significantly reduced effect if the patient is “Not in the correct frame of mind” to “See the Benefit of the drugs. A Positive mental outlook, a Goal to strive for, a “Mission to accomplish” are all of HUGE BENEFIT to ANY person who is suffering from ANY disease.

So My humble advise to ANY person reading this is to ALWAYS MAKE SURE your nearest & dearest who ARE suffering have a GOAL TO STRIVE FOR, A MISSION TO WIN, If Marie WANTS to “Try” to accomplish something I NEVER STOP HER (I probably end up doing 90% of it) but then I ALWAYS make sure she KNOWS just how much SHE HAS DONE towards it.

To use an old saying from a TV programme ………….”IT WORKS FER ME” I Do Hope this has been of some help to you that have had the Patience to read this far.

All the Best Keith & Marie